Since I was about ten years old, people have been telling me I should write.
So naturally, somewhere around college, I developed a massive creativity block. Between negative comments from other students about the “strangeness” of my work, indifferent feedback from teachers, painful family circumstances, and a nervous breakdown that made my stomach feel like a constantly churning blender full of razor blades, creating anything started to feel nearly impossible. I went to a liberal arts college with plans to study theater and film, but retreated into the social sciences. Sociology, Anthropology, Communication – these felt safe, familiar, like mountains I could climb without slipping to the bottom or freezing to death on the ascent.
It wasn’t until I was most of the way through a PhD program that I realized I’d also retreated from my greatest passions.
It’s the vulnerability, you see. Creativity can’t flow in someone who has been taught to see their own vulnerability as shameful and dangerous. And this world gives us so many, many reasons to fear what might happen when we expose our vulnerabilities. Yet without those vulnerabilities we wouldn’t have or make or do anything truly beautiful.
So this blog is me saying “what better way to get over these creative blocks than exposing my soft, vulnerable underbelly to the internet?!” I plan to use it as a space to talk about the things I love – like movies, art, literature, random bits of ephemera, cultural criticism, politics, the odd unicorn anecdote – in the hopes that it’ll help push me forward.
Maybe you’ll read something here that helps push you forward, too.